Feeling like a fraud despite your achievements? Can’t handle rejection without spiraling? In this episode of ‘Shooting Your Shot,’ Misti cuts through the bullshit around impostor syndrome with actual science, not feel-good fluff. Learn why your brain’s being an asshole, how stoicism can help you handle rejection without the emotional hangover, and evidence-based strategies to finally get over yourself and take the damn shot. No crystals, no mantras, just research-backed methods to stop self-sabotaging and start owning your competence.
Special Guest (Phone-a-Friend):
Danielle Frank with The Aligned Woman on Spotify. She is also on YouTube.
Danielle will be releasing a podcast with her sister in the next month called Quite Frankly (coming soon).
LISTEN:
*This podcast was recorded in 8 clips, from attempts to find a quiet place (my truck, my closet) amidst the chaos. Thanks for your sweet patience and support despite my wild production.
Episode Notes & References
I. Introduction
- Reality check: Impostor syndrome defined
- Prevalence: 70% of people experience impostor feelings (Bravata et al., 2020)
II. Impostor Syndrome – When Your Brain Becomes Your Enemy
A. Definition and Characteristics
- First identified by Clance and Imes (1978)
- Key characteristics:
- Persistent feelings of inadequacy despite success
- Attributing achievements to luck or external factors
- Fear of being “found out” as incompetent
- Discounting praise and internalizing criticism
B. Psychological Mechanisms
- Cognitive distortions (Beck, 1976)
- Attribution errors (Abramson et al., 1978)
- Social comparison (Festinger, 1954)
C. Who Is Most Affected
- High achievers (Parkman, 2016)
- Women and underrepresented minorities (Cokley et al., 2017)
- Perfectionists (Clance & Imes, 1978)
- First-generation professionals (Gardner & Holley, 2011)
III. The Science of Rejection
A. Neurological Impacts
- Rejection activates same brain regions as physical pain (Eisenberger et al., 2003)
- Evolutionary basis for rejection sensitivity
B. Stoic Principles for Handling Rejection
- Focus on what you can control – internal locus of control (Aurelius, trans. 2002; Rotter, 1966)
- Negative visualization/cognitive rehearsal (Seneca, trans. 2004; Craske et al., 2014)
- View obstacles as opportunities – post-traumatic growth (Epictetus, trans. 1995; Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004)
C. Evidence-Based Rejection-Proofing Strategies
- Exposure therapy and systematic desensitization (Downey & Feldman, 1996)
- Mental contrasting (Oettingen, 2014)
- Reframing rejection as information (Neff, 2011)
IV. Shooting Your Shot – The Science of Getting Over Yourself
A. Cognitive Reframing Techniques
- Challenge catastrophic thinking (Ellis, 2001)
- Adopt a growth mindset (Dweck, 2006)
- Use distancing language (Kross et al., 2014)
B. Building Authentic Confidence
- Progressive mastery (Bandura, 1997)
- Evidence collection – “victory log” (Clance & Imes, 1978)
- Implementation intentions (Gollwitzer & Sheeran, 2006)
C. Practical “Shoot Your Shot” Techniques
- The 5-Second Rule (Robbins, 2017)
- Rejection inoculation (Downey & Feldman, 1996)
- Success recycling (Libby et al., 2007)
V. Conclusion
- Impostor syndrome is common but manageable
- Rejection provides data, not destiny
- Confidence is a skill that can be developed
VI. References
Abramson, L. Y., Seligman, M. E., & Teasdale, J. D. (1978). Learned helplessness in humans: Critique and reformulation. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 87(1), 49-74.
Aurelius, M. (2002). Meditations. (G. Hays, Trans.). Modern Library. (Original work published c. 170-180 CE)
Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. W.H. Freeman.
Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. International Universities Press.
Bravata, D. M., Watts, S. A., Keefer, A. L., Madhusudhan, D. K., Taylor, K. T., Clark, D. M., Nelson, R. S., Cokley, K. O., & Hagg, H. K. (2020). Prevalence, predictors, and treatment of impostor syndrome: A systematic review. Journal of General Internal Medicine, 35(4), 1252-1275.
Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241-247.
Cokley, K., Smith, L., Bernard, D., Hurst, A., Jackson, S., Stone, S., Awosogba, O., Saucer, C., Bailey, M., & Roberts, D. (2017). Impostor feelings as a moderator and mediator of the relationship between perceived discrimination and mental health among racial/ethnic minority college students. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 64(2), 141-154.
Craske, M. G., Treanor, M., Conway, C. C., Zbozinek, T., & Vervliet, B. (2014). Maximizing exposure therapy: An inhibitory learning approach. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 58, 10-23.
Downey, G., & Feldman, S. I. (1996). Implications of rejection sensitivity for intimate relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70(6), 1327-1343.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. Random House.
Eisenberger, N. I., Lieberman, M. D., & Williams, K. D. (2003). Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study of social exclusion. Science, 302(5643), 290-292.
Ellis, A. (2001). Overcoming destructive beliefs, feelings, and behaviors: New directions for rational emotive behavior therapy. Prometheus Books.
Epictetus. (1995). The art of living. (S. Lebell, Trans.). HarperOne. (Original work published c. 125 CE)
Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117-140.
Gardner, S. K., & Holley, K. A. (2011). “Those invisible barriers are real”: The progression of first-generation students through doctoral education. Equity & Excellence in Education, 44(1), 77-92.
Gollwitzer, P. M., & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta‐analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69-119.
Kross, E., Bruehlman-Senecal, E., Park, J., Burson, A., Dougherty, A., Shablack, H., Bremner, R., Moser, J., & Ayduk, O. (2014). Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: How you do it matters. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 106(2), 304-324.
Libby, L. K., Shaeffer, E. M., Eibach, R. P., & Slemmer, J. A. (2007). Picture yourself at the polls: Visual perspective in mental imagery affects self-perception and behavior. Psychological Science, 18(3), 199-203.
Neff, K. D. (2011). Self‐compassion, self‐esteem, and well‐being. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 5(1), 1-12.
Oettingen, G. (2014). Rethinking positive thinking: Inside the new science of motivation. Current.
Parkman, A. (2016). The imposter phenomenon in higher education: Incidence and impact. Journal of Higher Education Theory and Practice, 16(1), 51-60.
Robbins, M. (2017). The 5 second rule: Transform your life, work, and confidence with everyday courage. Savio Republic.
Rotter, J. B. (1966). Generalized expectancies for internal versus external control of reinforcement. Psychological Monographs: General and Applied, 80(1), 1-28.
Seneca. (2004). Letters from a Stoic. (R. Campbell, Trans.). Penguin Classics. (Original work published c. 65 CE)
Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). Posttraumatic growth: Conceptual foundations and empirical evidence. Psychological Inquiry, 15(1), 1-18.
