Morticia & Gomez from the Addams Family inspired maternity shoot with Kristina and Paul. 🖤
I always try to smooth my hair and conceal my tired eyes. I always dust on a peachy pink blush and a fun lip color, regardless of how I feel. This is the mask of an invisible illness warrior. Occasionally, there are days that I struggle to even lift a limb to put on my war paint. On those days when I bare a naked face and join society, I get told over and over and over again, “You look tired.”
When someone looks exhausted or drained, instead try asking if they need anything or offer help, a compliment or anything positive. I wear makeup to hide when my face goes pale while my blood pressure drops and my body starts going numb, ringing in my ears or the sound of my pulse takes over while my vision starts to sparkle or fade. I wear lipstick to hide the loss of color while I brace myself against the wall or casually sit down and continue to smile and listen to your day.
Every day is a struggle, whether it is big or small. On the really bad days, it is a lonely world and it feels like no one understand. When you try to reach out, no one listens because they think you are young and healthy and perfectly fine. It feels dismissive and disheartening, quiet and empty as you hope for tomorrow to be a better day.
One of my many goals for the new year is to stretch more. I am in severe pain every single day and last year I did absolutely ZERO exercising. It is a challenge to do any workouts due to my heart condition but I hate the idea of getting weak. One of my amazing Wildling Apothecary homes is The Yogi Perogi in Melbourne, Florida. I thought, what a perfect way to support them too, while working on my goal to stretch and hopefully reduce the pain in my body.
As a yoga newbie, I felt that Amy Ustjanowski lead the class so seamlessly. I started with the Vinyasa Flow, which she recommended. I did avoid a pose or two since my pacemaker is in an odd location and causes pain still. There was no judgement and no feeling awkward with my lack of experience and knowledge. I felt fairly out of shape but any time I started to worry, she somehow was a step ahead of me telling us not to. I realized that yoga is also something that will strengthen your body but most importantly, remind you to breathe. As silly as it sounds, I never remember to breathe.
I definitely enjoyed the class and plan to try many more. Koah does a Rock n Flow class on Saturdays with live music! I think it is always very important to challenge yourself and to try something new. I also want to be more aware of breathing… inhaling and exhaling. Though it is autonomic and something that you just do, I realized that I don’t do it right. Letting go of the stress in your body and taking the time to rejuvenate is something that has never been a priority until now.
Yvonne is a ray of sunshine and you wouldn’t dare look at her and think that she was suffering. She is struggling for answers and remedies while trying to piece together her life around a disability. Meet Yvonne!
Where are you from originality?
I am from Jacksonville, Florida and I was adopted at 3 months old.
What is your dream for you and your career?
The ability to get back up and fight through battles is what inspires me. Women who empower women and encourage one another and lift another up also inspires me. My dream is to continue to help others feel wonderful about themselves and to offer the best quality organic products and airbrush tanning at it’s finest!
What is your favorite music?
My favorite music is county believe it or not lol…. I love “feel.good soul music ”
What inspires you?
What are three things you can’t live without?
I can not live without my daughter! She is the reason why for all that I do. I can not live without putting a smile on someone’s face on a daily basis. It feeds my soul to do good deeds! I can not live without lipstick… I LOVVEEEE LIPSTICK and coffee!
There is only one happiness in this life. To love and be loved.
Tell me a little about your injury and daily battles:
My injury occurred several months ago. I have a severe case of Plantar Fasciitis. I have been a dancer since I was three years old and that has become a passion of mine as it’s in my heart and in my veins! I have been teaching dance aerobics since I was out of high school. To be a dancer and to loose your feet and feel prisoner to them is the last thing I thought I would ever have to go through. I do not want to get out of bed and take the 1st steps as I know how painful they are. Throughout the day as I walk, it’s a struggle just to to stand. The only relief I get is if I sit, so I almost want to be in a wheelchair as hard as that is to say. Excruciating pain does something to you… I feel as if it has stripped my soul in my passion. I get depressed very easily and cry a couple times a day. As much as I want to cut them off of my body, I tell my feet I love them with every step I take no matter how much they hurt me and also how badly I want to remove them from my body. I pray that the feet I once knew come back to me soon as each day feels like an eternity when you are struggling to walk.
What is some advice you can give to anyone suffering?
My advice for anyone suffering is to breathe deep breaths and lean on your loved ones as much as possible. If they love you, they got you! Cry it out, and get back up again. I pray… A LOT! I try focus on the positive things that God has given me instead of dwelling in the darkness of this pain, even though at times it does get to me and I do break.
What helps with your issue?
My family helps me with my issue even though they don’t understand it. No one will understand if they’ve never experienced it, but it helps when you know you have people that truly care about you, that love you and want what’s best for you and your healing. There is truly nothing like support when you’re suffering. Pain this intense messes with you mentally as well. Family is always there to hold you and help you get through it!!!! Also, the beach or sitting outdoor helps me clear my stresses.
Support Yvonne’s local business here:
🖤Activated charcoal, which works by trapping toxins and chemicals in its millions of tiny pores.
Astrid Honey Belle
🍊 Honeysuckle, Cinnamon, Orange & Honey
🔮Lavender & Lemon with a touch of Vanilla
🌿One side with lavender buds for exfoliation
🌿 Grapefruit and Jasmine
Moroccan My World 🌎💙🌿
Green tea, Moroccan mint, spearmint, peppermint, cinnamon, licorice, coconut, honey
Sweet orange, cedar and gardenia
“The things you own end up owning you.”
Macadamia, coconut, juniper berry, citrus, pineapple and honey with rose petals and orange zest
Astrid’s Cookie Bliss
Macadamia, cinnamon, oats and honey