Unveiling Invisible Illnesses, Health Advocacy, Awareness & Education, Warrior Empowerment
Hello! This topic is important to me because so many of us go through life struggling and stressed, never learning the proper tools to work through an issue.
The original post How To Work Through a Problem has inspired the topic for episode 5 on my podcast, The Misti Blu Days of Our Lives.
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The kids are back in school, and so am I. I love the break in the summertime but I really thrive on routine. I gained a little extra fluff in the last few months from sleeping in, overeating, and going out to eat too much.
With everyone back in school, I am forced to plan ahead for meals. Having a smoothie in the morning is perfect for me since I am not really hungry yet. This smoothie recipe is full of nutrients and has vegan protein, which will get me through my first class. The mushroom blend helps with focus, energy and stress. Lion’s Mane is my favorite mushroom because it repairs nerve damage.
Oat milk is loaded with calcium, potassium, iron, vitamin A and D. It is known for improving immunity and gut health as well as lowering cholesterol.
Healing Sprinkles is an anti-inflammatory healing blend with minerals and vitamins. I need all of that! Having this smoothie in the morning is the best way to start out my day. Having gastrointestinal issues due to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome has caused me to have deficiencies. My tank is always on empty so this is a great addition of my routine that gives me a little boost.
What’s in it?
iTunes Episode 4 now available on iTunes now!
Topic: Grieving Your Past Life with Chronic Illness
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Anxiety is not being nervous over a big presentation at work. It’s not the butterflies in your stomach while you stress over what to wear. It’s not the feeling of having a hard time because you have too much on your plate.
Anxiety is a wave that towers over you, consuming your entire body. You tremble and shiver, your throat closes up and your palms sweat. Your heart races like a hummingbird. Many times it can be for no reason at all. It is out of your control. Your body is temporarily not yours. A state of panic sets in and you feel like you might die. Anxiety is neurotransmitters out of balance. It is the feeling of melting into quicksand. It’s feeling as if something terrible is about to happen. It feels as if you are about to implode.
Depression is not feeling bummed because you had a rough day. It’s not feeling sad because things didn’t go your right today. Depression is not being sad about that mean comment someone made towards you. It is not something that you can just suck up and get over. It is not cured by a simple attitude adjustment. It is a thick heavy blanket that drowns you. Sometimes it is devastatingly painful. Sometimes it is pure numbness, and other times it is the feeling of doom buried deep within you. It is like you are grieving the biggest loss you have ever felt. Even when the sun is shining and the sky is blue, this feeling can sink you. Oftentimes there is not even a reason. It’s like you’re missing a limb. Something is missing but you can’t place what it is.
Anxiety and depression does not make you weak, nor does it mean that you are weak. Mental health disorders are greatly misunderstood by a majority of society. The stigma must end and something needs to change. Generations are losing many to this epidemic. Addiction grows from mental health disorders and the need to self-medicate to escape from suffering.
Little ways to make a small difference:
Father’s Day is not always the easiest day for everyone. Some have lost their father and some have had an absent father. It can be an emotional day for many.
Today is a day that I think about my dad, who has his phone turned off so that his kids can’t call and wish him a happy Father’s Day. The last time we spoke was the previous week. I make sure to keep in contact daily but lately he forgets and sends hateful messages my way. When we spoke last week, everything was fine at first. As he drowns his mind in his fifteenth can of beer, he turns into a broken man. His self-hatred consumes him to the point of misery.
My dad gave up on himself years ago. Each year that passes by, his mind and body transform more and more. Once a lean, handsome and charming man to an overweight and grimy shell. He never made it to my wedding and he can’t even make it to the end of his driveway.
In Eric Erickson’s stages of psychosocial development, Generativity vs. Stagnation is when a person between the ages of 40-60 either volunteer, raises children, mentors or contributes to society; generativity is finding your life’s work and meaning. If you fail to accomplish this stage, you reach stagnation. Having little connection with others, lack of self-improvement and no motivation can be qualities of stagnation.
As my father transitions from that stage, into the next stage, I realize he is clearly coming from stagnation. The next stage is Integrity vs. Despair, from the 60s till the end of life. Reflecting on your life at this age, you feel a sense of accomplishment or failure. My dad lives in a state of despair. People in this stage feel as if their life is wasted.
Though my dad has children and family who love him unconditionally, he takes his misery out on those he loves. I know when he calls me the worst names imaginable and repeatedly tells me that he hates me, that really he just hates himself. I know that he is a hurt man that feels hopeless with no answers. Maybe he carries regret for the years he was not sober; years went by where we lived with a growing pit in our stomach of what the night would bring as he sucked the whiskey out of his mustache. I believe he is a prisoner to his own mind and body.
Though he damaged my brother and I throughout our lives, we still remember our sober dad. We remember the road trips, Sunday breakfast, camping trips and his great laugh. He has always been a Jekyll and Hyde. His soul felt the sunshine and other days he felt cold darkness.
I blame everything on the ignored mental health crisis that no one talks about. I blame it on alcohol and how it can poison an unstable mind. I blame it on the world for looking the other way while others suffer, because they don’t understand. As this elephant sits in the room, crushing others, we pretend to be fine.
My dad lies on his disintegrating bed, drinking his sixteenth beer as his body gets sicker. His hate burns in his belly while he curses life. I don’t know how long he will be around but I already grieve idea of not having a father. I grieve that he won’t let anyone help him and that we have to watch him slowly kill himself from afar, while his lasts words are that he hates us.
We just respond, “I love you too.”
The #myedschallenge for today is “if you could rid yourself of one EDS symptom, what would it be?
Without a doubt, I would rid myself of heart issues. I will gladly take the pain, muscle aches and spasms, joint hypermobility, subluxations, migraines, gastrointestinal issues, brain fog and so on. I have always known my life with heart issues.
I remember playing on the softball team in 3rd grade, complaining of my heart racing. “Keep running, kid. That’s normal,” my coach said. It wasn’t until I was 15 when we realized my heart rate was hitting the 300s and I had SVT and WPW. I remember being in my 20s and dancing with my friends, periodically going to the bathroom stall to slow down my heart. I just wanted to be normal.
Between multiple surgeries, hospitalizations, ER visits and doctors appointments, these heart issues have robbed me of so much of my life. These heart issues affect me every day.
My heart valves leak and have hypertrophied, requiring an inevitable 2nd open heart surgery one day. I have already had 4 cardiac ablations and refuse to do a 5th as it would make me 100% pacemaker dependent. My aortic root is dilating, a common issue with EDS. While I worry about my heart rhythms, blood pressure, arrhythmias, and valves, I also have worry about the possibility of aortic dissection.
I put my hand on my heart, and though battery operated, I am still so grateful that it pumps. I am grateful that I am here to be a mother and a wife, to share my story, to raise awareness, advocate and educate. I am grateful to breathe in the warm Florida air, even while my heart races and my chest aches. But what I wouldn’t do for a healthy heart….
I am so excited to announce the upcoming launch of a show with my dear friend Amber, called The Invisible Diaries! The show will be shedding light on invisible illnesses. We are going to interview guests as well.
If you are interested in being on our show, please emails us at theinvisiblediaries@gmail.com and introduce yourself.
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Stay tuned and follow us on social media for updates on our official launch!
Oftentimes when others walk away or inflict hurt upon us, we are left questioning ourselves. We dissect every memory, moment and action to search for answers of what went wrong. Our self worth begins to crumble.
Sometimes, what happens is that the toxic person who hurt you is bringing you down in order to justify their actions. People don’t like to own up to their mistakes or take responsibility for their actions, and they get away with it by adding insult to injury.
While you are feeling blindsided, broken or down, they get you to believe that it is all your fault. Just remember that you are going to get through this and you will look back and appreciate your growth and outcome, as hard as it may be to see now.
Check off each day as you go. If you miss a day, go back to it and complete at the end.
Feel free to share any of your challenges and activities on Instagram with #30DayBlu
I am a firm believer that everyone should have genetic testing done. Genetic testing will show which medication you do or do not metabolize as well as which medications you may have an abnormal reaction to. This includes blood thinners, seizure medications, pain medications and psychiatric medications.
Pharmocogentics testing for CYP450, CYP2D6, CYP2D19 genotypes will show personalized information on metabolism for antidepressants and antipsychotics. The MTHFR gene mutation is common in up to 40% of the population and can also alter the response to medications and actually can be the culprit of mental illness alone. The CACNA1C gene is responsible for flow of calcium into neurons and is linked to 5 mental health disorders.
Doctors treat mental illness like a one-size-fits-all standard diagnosis and treatment. Mental illness can be a result of many factors, such as a biochemical imbalance (vitamin deficiencies) rather than simply requiring SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) or blocking certain receptors. You have to ask yourself, “why does this medication’s adverse reactions include reactions that you are trying to treat?”
Some of these medications can increase the risk of getting diabetes, lower sex drive due to hormonal changes, cardiovascular disorders, involuntary muscle movements, seizures and even a drop in white blood cells.
FDA approval of an antipsychotic medication does not mean it is effective. The FDA only sees one or two of the best studies shown for short-term effectiveness. After 1987, doctors were shocked to have to admit that SSRIs could cause fatal reactions and induce psychosis, mania and depression (Gantt 2018). In fact, none of these drugs are allowed to claim that they may prevent suicide.
In Taking Sides: Psychological Issues, it states that at least 90% of the infamous homicidal school shooters were already under the care of a psychiatrist (or psych drug prescriber) and were either taking or withdrawing from one or more psychiatric drug. The other 10% are simply unknown due to their medical files being secured by authorities.
It is safe to say that these medications can do harm and may not be safe for everyone.
References:
Gantt, E. E., & Slife, B. (2018). Taking sides: Clashing views on psychological issues, 20th edition. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Education.
http://www.mensahmedical.com/what-are-biochemical-imbalances/
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0033318206700299