Health

Invisible Illnesses Unveiled – Major Depressive Disorder

This year I have decided to speak up and share my story in hopes that I can break stigmas, knock down walls, inspire others to take their health into their hands by advocacy and research, to help others realize that they are not alone and to grow from all of this.
I finally started seeing a therapist for the first time and was officially diagnosed with severe Major Depressive Disorder. Not mild but SEVERE! I was shocked. However, it is time to acknowledge this and do something about it. It is real and it exists and ignoring it will not make it go away.
Throughout my health journey, I had decided to look into my genes. One of the genes I carry is SLC6A4, a type of monoamine transporter protein that transports seratonin. This provides a lower rate of response to SSRIs (antidepressants). Genetically speaking, this affects individuals when experiencing stressful events in their lives and their cortisol response. Cortisol is a hormone that your body produces to respond to stress. This particular gene is a risk marker for Anxiety, Depression, OCD, PTSD, ¬†Alzheimers and even Autism. ¬†For those who have alcoholism that “runs in their family” actually have association with this gene variant. These are all reason why I feel that EVERYONE should be tested genetically to know what you are predisposed to for preventative measure as well as proper treatments due to certain genes causing resistance to treatments.
Here I am at 33 and finally dealing with something that I saw signs of in my early childhood. Mental health has always been wrapped in shame and stigmas which make it hard for anyone to accept and even wrap their head around. When I felt down and depressed, I did not ever think of it as a chemical imbalance or a disorder. I thought of its as insecurities and a lack of self worth because I truly believed that I was worthless. Now, I have the ability to check myself and remind myself that I am not worthless and that I am having a depressive moment that will pass. I know that this is a never ending effort on my end to continuously work on. I am so sad for the young girl, teenager and young woman that I was. She did not realize that it was a dark cloud blurring her view of the world and that she could take a deep breath and wait for it to pass. Instead, the stigmas and closed doors made her feel alone as she spent her entire life suffering.
Opening up about mental health is incredibly difficult to do. People judge, form their opinions, label you, make assumptions or just completely shut down. For example, I opened up today to a friend about my recent diagnosis and how it was never real to me and what I was feeling with this new acknowledgement and the subject was changed as if I never even spoke of it. When you open up to someone about your health and it gets dismissed you feel like you cannot trust or open up to anyone. However, I knew I could let that go and move on and find the right friend who would understand and listen. Maybe not everyone is cut out for it but I hope to make others aware of this epidemic of depression which takes so many lives. If you are a friend or a person that someone chose to confide in but don’t know how to handle the situation, direct them to someone who can. Dismissing them or ignoring the issues may cause them to feel more isolated.
Mental health disorders are another form of invisible illnesses. When people meet me, I smile and am generally friendly and most people would never guess I battled depression my entire life.
I can’t even fathom to explain how much I can’t stand when a complete stranger says, “Smile! It can’t be that bad!” I like to suggest that if you are that type of person, say something else like, “I hope you have a great day” instead. Those are the little things that make our head sink less.
My advice to anyone in a relationship with someone who struggles with depression is that you have to be patient and when they isolate themselves or push you away, keep a close distance instead so they get their space but don’t feel more alone. We never want to push you away, we self sabotage because in that moment we truly feel like you are better off. My husband always reminds me that it will pass and we even came up with a code word. Communication is so valuable. Always discuss these moments and how you can work through them better next time.
If you are the depressed one in the relationship, you need to be patient as well. They do not understand but they are loving enough to try, so bear with them and listen to them, no matter how stubborn as you can be. You have to do the work. You have to read the self help books and go to therapy and try or their help and support is going to be useless for you. No one can save you besides yourself. This is your battle to fight even if you have people on your side. If you feel like you cannot manage or handle your depression then do not be afraid to seek help. Some people do not know what to do or how to handle a situation, so finding local resources is recommended for more professional help.
There are people who are prisoners to their own mind. I am fortunate to have found a way to cope and get through my depression, but for those who have not can fall into a colossal traumatic, dark hole that may lead them to hurt themselves or others. There is a spectrum for everything, from mild to severe and everyone copes differently but as a community we need to open our eyes whether it is to seek help for yourself or know where to point someone to if they turn to you for help.
Health

CBD Oil: Who, When, Where, Why, How?

Who?

Anyone can try CBD oil. Even kids and pets! CBD oil is safe and has been used medicinally for decades. CBD provides the medical benefits of the marijuana plant without the psychoactive effects and high produced by THC. 

Here is an example of a case study of a young girl with PTSD from sexual abuse: Pediatric Anxiety And Insomnia

CBD can be used for PTSD, insomnia, anxiety, menstrual pain, migraines, nausea, inflammation, IBS, Chron’s, autoimmune disease, arthritis, fibromyalgia, and much more. It is my go to for all of my ailments. 

What?

Cannabidiol, also known as CBD,  is a cannabinoid in cannabis. CBD makes up 40% of the plant extract. It is the second most medically beneficial cannabinoid, after THC. CBD can actually counteract the psychoactive effects of THC. 

When?

What I love about CBD is that I feel like I am in control of my symptoms instead of my symptoms controlling me. Most medication are taken every 6-8 hours, have side effects, can be addictive, cause withdrawals or long term effects such as damage to your liver. With CBD I can take it whenever and as needed. For example, the other day was very rough for me. I had a splitting headache, intense nausea, felt like I had just fallen from a three story building and increased heart rate. I felt aweful. I had doses every few hours or so and made it theough the day. Some doses even back to back. You could NEVER do that with pain medication or most medications. Then, I have days that are not so bad and might just skip doses all day and have one dose in the evening. 

Where?

CBD is legal in all 50 states as long as it meets the requirement of containing no more than 0.3% THC.  

Follow Blu Dream Health Collective on Facebook for more information or subscribe to this blog for updates and how to purchase CBD oil. 

Why?

There is a High Times article on 10 Little-Known Uses For CBD states that CBD can curb nicotine addiction and also help with acne. CBD is a huge anti inflammatory! Washington Post has plenty of doctors stating the anti-cancer properties and powerful positive effects for epileptic patients. Cannabis can suppress a hyperactive immune system and lower inflammation, which are two important concerns in Autoimmune Diseases.

CBD is safer than aspirin. There are overwhelming studies that prove just that. Medical cannabis has never killed a single patient. 

How?

CBD can be vaped, ingested transdermally, sublingual or in edibles. There are capsules, creams, salves and so on. I strongly suggest that you do your research and get the best product available. I only use Fountain of Health CBD because it is Colorado grown, non-GMO, vegetarian, alcohol-free and coconut oil base. Many companies do not even list their ingredients. This is also the highest strength for the best price available on the market. I carry the 1/2oz size in my shop and online store [link available soon] and it is 1,000mgs. You only need 2-5 small droplets under your tongue (sublingual) and it takes effect within minutes. 

Health

What is normal?

Throughout my entire life, I have been living with chronic ailments. I remember being in  grade school screaming in pain from stomach issues. 


I remember when I was 7 years old, running around and my heart felt like it a hummingbird and I would get dizzy. The adults said that it was normal to have your heart rate increase when you run around. My softball coach in 4th grade would tell me to keep going. What they did not know is that my heart was in the 250 beats per minute range. When I was 15, the school nurse finally caught on. Supraventricular Tachycardia. They said I would outgrow it but it got worse and more frequent. It would happen 20 times a day. It was exhausting. But, this was my normal. 


I have always suffered from migraines, chronic pain, depression and fatigue. Every day I had a complaint and after years of being told I was just a hypochondriac, I stopped bitching about it. This was my normal. Normal was insomnia. Normal was waking up at 4am every morning in pain. Normal hurts. I’m normal. Suck it up, Misti! 

I discovered CBD Oil after a recent two month long streak in and out of ambulance rides, ERs and hospital admissions. “Everything is fine”, they said. “This is anxiety”, they laughed. I never felt worse and I thought my life was coming to an end. I went back to the hospitals I had been to, down to the the medical records department and got copies of every single record from the last two months. No, I was not having anxiety attacks. My neutrophils were dangerously low, lymphocytes high, my bun/creatinine was very elevated… to name a few. My 30 day heart rhythm monitor was a scary mess. The nurses and doctor mocked me out the door, dismissing my concerns. “Everything is normal.” Needless to say, my third electrophysiologist is the one. Third one is a charm, I guess. Everything was not normal. My body was giving up on me. I was withering away and living in fear of each day being my last day on Earth. I have three amazing children and the love of my life by my side to fight for. 


*Photo by Arlene Jacobs

After countless hours of research and second and third opinions, I demanded to get my ANA tested, which determines if you have an autoimmune disease. Though, they thought it was excessive and unnecessary, they placed the lab orders anyway. It was positive. 


Had I known this 15 years ago, before 4 cardiac ablations, one open heart surgery, preterm pregnancies, endometrial ablation, hysterectomy consults, years of self medicating with marijuana and wine, chronic episodes of depression, decades of minimal sleep to the point where I had sleep paralysis, endless pain and so on…. I could have gotten the right treatment and care and changed my diet and learned how to manage my health conditions. 



I should not be here. If I listened to my doctors and did not put up a fight, I could be dead. If I did not take aspirin each time I began heart attack symptoms, I may have not made it. I was having vasospasms, spasms of the arteries and vascular system, which was constricting blood flow to my heart and extremities. I was going into circulatory shock from sinus node dysfunction. And to think, they suggested Xanax and sent me out the door!

I have not been back to the ER in a month, since my last hospital admission, which lasted 5 days of no answers. I imagine it is a number of reasons: new heart medications, CBD oil, bedside essential oil diffuser, removing sugar and preservatives from my diet, finding  out my allergies and triggers. CBD is a huge anti-inflammatory and helps with pain, nauseous, spasms, and sleep disorders, which are a few of my medical issues. I sleep so much better! I can keep my heart rate down and blood pressure lowered and stay calm and relaxed. My menstrual cycle is no big deal now. Leg cramps and pain throughout my body is now managed and I am in much better spirits! CBD oil is such an important alternative to the slew of pharmaceutical drugs that have been pushed my way. 

Every day is a new day. I take each day at a time, treat my body right and eat healthy. I still have a lot of pain and now need a pacemaker but at least I am getting answer. I even got genetic testing for Elhers Danlos Syndrome which is also something I pushed during my endless research since I fit the criteria very well. 

Doctors look and me and say I look great. I look healthy. I look fine. 

I cannot stress enough how important it is to be your own advocate and educate yourself. Put up a fight! Take care of your body.