Health, Unveiling Invisible Illnesses

Sweet Dreams with an Invisible Illness

When your bed is your sanctuary, a safe place but some moments steal that from you.

After a long day, collapsing into bed is pure bliss. Your head rests on the pillow and the soft comforter melts over you. As your eyes become heavy, suddenly your heart flutters with each breath. Your chest gets tight, as if someone is crushing you or you swam to the bottom of the deep-end pool. Your left hand and mouth feel like needles and pins while your chest begins to ache. The pain in your left arm makes it impossible not to worry.

You sit up and take slow deep breaths, taking your blood pressure and discovering that it is high. Some moments your blood feels cold as it runs through your body, so you turn on your bedside heater and grab your robe; this isn’t the first time you have felt this way so you know what to do by now. After a few starling palpitations you decide it’s time for emergency medication. You are still trying to prevent going to the ER, where they will simply question your mental health and ask, “are you having an anxiety attack?”

“You’re too young for…”

“No, that’s not common for your age…”

———-

As I sit up, I can’t help but wish my body didn’t betray me so often.

Let me rest.

Let this pass.

Why?

My muscles twitch and spasm throughout and inside my body, like a symphony of fireworks. The ringing [in my ears] is so loud that even as I distract myself with the TV, it still rings louder. Occasionally the chest pain strengthens and waves of vasospasms in my chest put the fear in me of what could happen next. I try lying down again until I shoot up after another intense heart rhythm.

I’m so tired.

Please.

As the meds kick in, I wait to lie back down in fear that another episode will come. One by one, I turn off my heater, remove my robe as my blood circulates better, take a deep breath to see if the tightness has released, slowly inching back into my pillow, and then I drift into sleep only to hope that I wake up to start my day tomorrow.


*From 2017-2019 I went to the ER 54 times. I still continue to end up in an ER once every month. I decided to document/blog (after) an episode that sometimes sends me to the ER; fortunately I was able to manage through it tonight and avoided an ER trip. This is another reason I am grateful that Mayo Clinic found the myocardial bridge, which often causes coronary artery vasospasms at night.

Thanks for listening and learning with me to spread awareness and hope for others that may one day be in my shoes. Never take your health for granted.

News

Hurricane Dorian: Florida Life and How To Prepare

There is such a unique feeling that comes with being a Florida resident. Maybe it’s the adrenaline, the excitement, a little bit of shock, and whirlwind of emotions. Feelings come in waves, like the angry sea ahead. One moment, we are laughing and shrugging it off. Then there are times when we get a bit nervous. Will we run out of gas and water? Will my home be safe? Am I in a flood zone? Do I have enough batteries?

The uncertainty of the storm is also an impending storm within ourself: the sky is always the bluest, with true Florida sunshine warming our backs while we cannot see what is coming for us. Rumors and guesses pour in like rain as we listen to the latest forecasts. The storm’s movement dances, teasing us and growing stronger.

The shelves dwindle as we run into our neighbors and wish each other luck. Tick tock, the clock counts down and the hurricane creeps closer. Businesses and homes board up their windows during the calm before the storm.

Whether you are a hurricane pro and Florida native or a storm newbie, preparation is very important. Even if the storm isn’t a direct hit, you never know if it will make a sudden and unpredictable turn. Even outer rain bands can cause damage and/or flooding. ALWAYS be prepared.

Hurricane Preparation Tips:

  • Fill up your gas tank and keep it full. You never know if you may need to change plans and evacuate, or when gas will be available after the storm.
  • Losing electricity is likely. If you don’t have a generator, it’s a good idea to eat the food in your freezer to reduce the amount of food that may go bad after days without power. Fill up the freezer with ice. Stock up on non perishable items and food items that can fit in a cooler.
  • Stock up on water or fill containers with water. Water lines typically get shut off so have drinking water and water for cleaning, washing your hands, etc. You can fill the bathtub and washer with water as well to use for flushing the toilets. It doesn’t hurt to stock up on baby wipes to freshen up if you can’t shower.
    Be sure to have all your medications filled. You don’t want to run out or discover you are low when everything is closed and you are stuck inside or out of the area. This includes medication you may not take daily, like anti-diarrhea, aspirin and home remedies.
    Share your plan with friends and family so that people know where you will be. Cell towers don’t work well after a storm hits so making calls may not be an option for a moment, and without electricity your phone may be dead. Check on neighbors and elderly to see if anyone needs help.
    Don’t forget the pets! Make sure they have plenty of food as well.
    Get gallon size ziplock bags for important documents. This also comes in handy for keeping food from getting soggy as ice in the cooler melts.
    Get a battery operated radio to listen to updates. Make sure you have other essentials: toilet paper, paper plates, lighters, batteries, candles, bug spray, etc.
    Know your local resources: shelters, emergency management, local updates, resources.
    Have cash handy. Once again, without electricity there are no debit/credit card machines. When stores reopen they may be cash only.
    Do not run generators indoors
    If you will not be home, fill a cup of water and freeze it. Then, place a quarter on top. If it is at the bottom of the cup, that means you lost power and your food is bad.

Links:

Health, Unveiling Invisible Illnesses

Mayo Clinic Update

We are done for the day and just had the evaluation with the cardiologist. In a nutshell: it takes a village. My aortic valve is slightly worse but my heart isn’t in bad shape to need surgery YET so that is great news, for now. However, I did have an elevated NT-Pro BNP which is indicative of heart failure but ever so mild and more to be used as a baseline.

I will be back September 5th for more tests. I will finally get my cortisol and metanephrines tested. I will have a CT angio and a 7 day heart monitor. The role for this doctor will mainly be to monitor my heart valve. We are ruling out any other structural abnormalities and then this information will be very helpful to the new neurologist that I will be seeing out of state in Arizona, unless Nashville opens up (first choice). The answers I am mostly looking for will be there, to better understand and treat my dysfunctional nervous system. The full genetic sequencing is another piece of the puzzle. There are a lot of pieces.

The valve is one issue but my nervous system is what causes the other heart problems, as well and many other issues. This is an ongoing process. It’s is an up an down roller coaster. At times, I am excited to get answers and the Cinderella hopefulness to find a way to magically be better. Oftentimes I find the sinking feeling of reality and logic settling in my stomach that there is no cure, just management. It’s impossible to accept and why I still try to search for more answers.

My health is like a domino effect: one issue causes another, then another… There is such a huge list of issues connected to connective tissue (disorders). This also makes it difficult to understand and diagnose, because it’s essentially a giant cluster fuck.

I will always continue searching because science advances, awareness spreads education, and advocacy feeds it all. I will continue to fight for myself but also for the future of others that will stand in my shoes one day. I hope the darkness in my life fuels the light that other seek.

Thank you for listening and for your support. Feel free to subscribe or to reach out if you ever need any help. It is my passion to lead other patients in the direction they need.I know exactly what it feels like to be lost, medically neglected, and dismissed.

Helpful Links:

http://www.dysautonomiainternational.org

https://www.ehlers-danlos.com

https://www.healthline.com/health/mast-cell-activation-syndrome

The Invisible Diaries

https://vimeo.com/292473119

Health, Unveiling Invisible Illnesses

Why I Am Going Out of State for a Doctors Appointment

After seeing a neurologist for about nine months, we came upon the solution for me to see a different neurologist, in the same office, since my doctor felt she couldn’t help me. Her specialty was migraines and seizures and she was not familiar with the dysfunction of the autonomic nervous system. I felt it might be easier to stay in the same office since maybe the two doctors could communicate or have access to more information than leaving the practice altogether.

It has now been a little over a year with my newer neurologist. In this year, I have seen him every month at times. One appointment was to order an MRI without contrast to rule out certain diagnoses. Then, the next appointment was to follow up on that test and to order something else. It felt like it dragged on and on, leaving me to wonder why everything wasn’t just all tested at once. I could sense the uncertainty, and while he admitted that he isn’t familiar with dysautonomia, he sympathizes and ensures that he will help somehow.

The first neurologist ordered an EEG and she said everything was delayed but showed no signs of seizures. This was two years ago, before my pacemaker. After leaving that test, my heart rate dropped and I passed out in the hallway. Fortunately, I had a heart monitor on at the time and called my electrophysiologist and explained what happened. They looked at the episode and determined my heart rate plummeted.

Now, two years later, my new doctor decides to do another EEG. I find myself nervous, wondering if the testing triggered my episode last time. But I also find myself frustrated and here’s why: two appointments ago, my neurologist said that my (dysautonomia) episodes sound like seizures. He offered me seizure meds and I quickly declined. I avoid medication unless absolutely necessary or given a proven diagnosis. I stated that I would never take meds for a guessed diagnosis and that I was sure these episodes were a result of autonomic dysfunction, or dysautonomia, which had also been diagnosed by my electrophysiologist. Dysautonomia is common with Ehlers-Danlos patients. He admits again he is not knowledgeable in EDS or dysautonomia. “Let’s just try another EEG.”

Keep in mind that there are 12 million misdiagnosis per year. Having a complex illness makes it tough to get proper treatment and management due to the lack of knowledge in rare diagnoses. As a patient, it can be hard to walk away because we feel almost desperate to get care but also hopeful that we will make progress over time; maybe the doctor will come around, research, or learn more. Starting over is time consuming and you already put in so much…just like a relationship. Sometimes hope keeps us there longer than we should stay.

Finding a specialist (there are only three clinics in the country) that specializes in Autonomic Dysfunction for me is a must. Looking back, the last two years was a waste of time. The last two years, my diagnosis was never understood by my doctor, nor will it ever be. I was nearly fitted into his specialty of seizures, only to be added to the 12 million misdiagnosed, because that was his specialty. That was what he was comfortable with. Any many patients would have trusted his judgment, taken the pills and felt they were being cared for. Not me.

As I leave from my EEG test, I know that it may be the last time I come to that office. I chose to humor my doctor and myself with the test because it never hurts to rule out a diagnosis (again). I know that months from now, I will travel outside of the state to see a doctor that truly understands what is going on with my nervous system. After spending my entire life having notes in my medical records of “unusual symptoms” that no one could piece together, for the first time ever I will have a doctor that has that missing piece of the puzzle.

mental health, Podcast

How To Work Through a Problem – Listen Now!

Podcast Link

Hello! This topic is important to me because so many of us go through life struggling and stressed, never learning the proper tools to work through an issue.

The original post How To Work Through a Problem has inspired the topic for episode 5 on my podcast, The Misti Blu Days of Our Lives.

Please be sure to subscribe and leave 5 stars so that others can stumble upon my podcast and blog! It is available on Spotify, iTunes, and iHeartRadio, or you can listen on the RSS feed link.

Health, Healthy Food

Morning Routine Smoothie

The kids are back in school, and so am I. I love the break in the summertime but I really thrive on routine. I gained a little extra fluff in the last few months from sleeping in, overeating, and going out to eat too much.

With everyone back in school, I am forced to plan ahead for meals. Having a smoothie in the morning is perfect for me since I am not really hungry yet. This smoothie recipe is full of nutrients and has vegan protein, which will get me through my first class. The mushroom blend helps with focus, energy and stress. Lion’s Mane is my favorite mushroom because it repairs nerve damage.

Oat milk is loaded with calcium, potassium, iron, vitamin A and D. It is known for improving immunity and gut health as well as lowering cholesterol.

Healing Sprinkles is an anti-inflammatory healing blend with minerals and vitamins. I need all of that! Having this smoothie in the morning is the best way to start out my day. Having gastrointestinal issues due to Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome has caused me to have deficiencies. My tank is always on empty so this is a great addition of my routine that gives me a little boost.

What’s in it?

  • Ice
  • Banana
Tips and Tricks

Building or Repairing Your Credit Score

When you have a bad credit score, it can be disheartening and frustrating. Having chronic illnesses my entire life has made it a struggle to have a decent score. I let accounts go when recovering from health issues and being out of work from surgeries. However, I also never tried to fix them until recently. Part of me thought, “What’s the use?” I was wrong; it was not impossible and you can still make an effort. Plus, we want to buy a house and you cannot do that with shitty credit.

First, you want to monitor your score. I downloaded the Credit Karma app, a free app that allows you to monitor your credit for free. You don’t want to have to pay for your report and you also don’t want a hard inquiry, which can affect your score. So, keeping an eye out with Credit Karma is ideal. Also, try to avoid bills from making it into collections. If there is a bill you can’t pay, call and explain your situation. I call the hospital once a month and pay $5 towards a bill to keep it from going to collections. They don’t like it but they can’t say no.

When I started my journey last year, my score was under 500. I had several collections and truth be told, I never really paid attention or cared to keep an eye on my credit. I truly believe that this should be a lesson in high school, but that is another topic for another day. First, I started with setting up a payment plan for my school loan. I had paid off a loan entirely and didn’t realize I had another school loan in default. Oops! After 9 months, I was out of default with consecutive payments proving my responsibility. This did not necessarily increase my score but it removed a collection from the derogatory marks. It is not always about the score, which is important, but also about how many items are in collections.

I had several derogatory marks. One was an $850 collection I had; I called and set up a payment plan to pay it off in about 8 months. It feels good to settle debts and see your collections disappear. Again, this did not increase my score much but it helps the other areas that are looked at when your report is pulled.

My absolute favorite way that I increased my credit score was with an app called Self Lender. This app has increased my score more than anything else I have tried and it is also a great way to save money. I downloaded the app and chose the second plan. The first plan is $25 per month for two years but I chose the $48 per month for one year. This plan increases your score a little more that the $25 one, in comparison to my husband who chose that plan. Basically, you (self) lend to yourself and it reports and builds credit! At the end of the year, I will get the money back that I paid into the account while I successfully increased my credit. I went from 500 to 600 within 6 months!

Another option is opening a secured credit line at your bank. Many banks offer $200-$500 limits. My husband set his up at my bank for $300 (their minimum). You treat it just like a credit card, only it is your money. You don’t want to max it out. Just use it for small things, like gas or lunch. Aim to keep your balance low and pay it on time, otherwise you are defeating the purpose and it could lower your score. I opened a secured credit line with First Progress. It is linked to my bill pay on my online banking app.

Making a list of what you need to improve is also a productive plan for fixing your credit. Occasionally people have had derogatory marks or collections that were not accurate. My husband had a collection that was a duplicate. Combing through everything is a way to ensure that everything is accurate. Disputing anything that is wrong is simple and also easy to do through the Credit Karma app.

The Fair Credit Reporting Act promotes the accuracy, fairness and privacy of consumers. Basically, the credit bureaus have 30-45 days to resolve a dispute. It never hurts to try. Another thing you can do, is call the actual creditors and set up a payment plan or negotiate price to pay off the debt. If an account status is closed or a charge-off then paying it off is basically useless, so focus on the open collections. Keep in mind that collection agencies buy debts for cheap so you can negotiate. If you hassle them back and say that you only can pay $70 for your $150 debt, chances are they will accept that or something close. I had a friend recently tell me that she haggled a $10,000 debt down to $800 pay off! Keep in mind that they will want that in one payment. Make sure you ask when it will be reported and for a letter as well so you can follow up on your credit report.

I had a 2014 lease broken in Missouri and they were going after me for $8,758. That was excruciating. After months of phone tag, negotiations and frustrations, we finally agreed on a full payment of $3,000. I asked for a debt settlement letter and fortunately they were scheduled to do their monthly reporting to the credit bureau the following day. This was the very last thing holding me back from buying a house, because it was an open collection and at that price. If I had the time, I could have set up a payment plan and after 6-9 consecutive payments, it would have shown I was working towards paying it off. That works too, but we are trying to buy now and didn’t want to renew our lease another year.

Another cool way to give yourself a boost is through Experian. They have something called Credit Boost that links your utility payments. It added my phone bill and electric bill and I got an 8 point boost!

Now that you have a better understanding of some tips and tricks, you can continue to improve your score and create responsible habits that will keep your score up. Though I still have work to do, I know each month my score improves and that it doesn’t happen overnight or all at once. Be patient and vigilant.

Recommendations:

Our mortgage guy, Roy

Our Realtor

Health

Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Hearing Loss

Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome can cause a defect in the sound conducting mechanism of the middle ear, and which may result in hearing loss. My “good” ear has been crackling and feeling less good. I see an ENT regularly and have shown a steady pattern of loss in both ears, predominantly my right ear.

What seemed like a normal follow up to see why the tinnitus and crackling has worsened in my better ear, ended up in receiving some surprising news.

My last hearing test was just 6 months ago and it is evident that there has been progressive loss. My doctor said she would not usually advise hearing aids at this level yet but considering EDS and the obvious progression, her opinion is to start now before it gets worse.

Today is one of those days where I feel just completely defeated by my body. The idea of hearing aids at my age…. but I will rock them. My purpose here is to help others like me to feel beautiful, strong and supported. So, I am taking another hit for the team.

Anyone else out there have hearing aids?

Health

Grieving Your Past Life and Accepting the New

I remember the days when I was a social butterfly. I was building my empire, helping the community and I knew everyone. I truly thought I had so many friends. It was not until my health was at my worst when I realized that I actually only had a handful of real friends: Those who visited when I had open heart surgery… Those who came by when I got my pacemaker…. Those who checked in on me… Those who were there during the low times.

Someone healthy once said to me that people get sick because they want attention. That could not be further from the truth. You do not get attention when you are sick, you get dropped and become a has-been. You are forgotten and realize most of your friends were only drinking buddies or you were their wingman. Out of sight, out of mind. People move on from you and gravitate toward a replacement. I had a career that was flourishing. I was traveling several times per year, all expenses paid for. I was challenged, inspired, thriving and growing. But my health always catches up. It always knocks me down, no matter how high I climbed.

Typically, I quietly climb back up. I kept most of my health to myself besides major things that were hard to hide. I masked my symptoms with caffeine, marijuana and alcohol. Depression was always tucked away inside. I never slept and I resented my body.

This time, I didn’t climb back up. I accepted it. I embraced it. I shared my story and my truth so that others didn’t feel the need to suffer silently like I did. My career fell apart.

Tyler Durden: It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. -Fight Club

On the plus side, when my health deteriorated, I realized who was important. I realized I wasted precious time with the wrong people when I had amazing friends that were there all along. It reminded me about quality over quantity.

I have learned to change my perspective. I may not be the career fueled woman I once was but my passion has never skipped a beat. I remind myself how grateful I am to now live a genuine life, with no toxic friendships, no false relationships, nobody with a hidden agenda. My life is a challenge but it is real and so are my relationships.

When you find yourself in this position, it’s a chance to reinvent yourself. You reevaluate everything. You cut the toxins out and you ask yourself, what do you truly want? How can I touch lives and make a difference?

I may be grieving who I once was, my fair-weather friends, and my fast-paced career. However, I am excited to see how my new journey unfolds and where life will take me. I feel my purpose needed to be more meaningful. I was lost in the fun, excitement and the haze of fake friends and couldn’t see what I was meant to do. I was meant to change the world, to help others and to make a difference… no matter how small. Even if I just pave the way.