College Life, Health, Mental Health, Red Strong

It’s Been Awhile

It’s been awhile. I have been grieving, depressed, burnt out, in pain, exhausted and a little lost. I have been working on myself and focusing on my mental health and finding balance. I thought it would be fun to catch up and say hello.

My husband asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday, and of course I said, “the springs!” It was an amazing day and probably one of my favorite birthdays.

McKee Botanical Garden was an absolutely fairytale. I had many loved ones meet up and we all had such an amazing time. It was so beautiful and I can’t wait to go back! I am so thankful for so many loving and supportive friends.

I always talk about joining my dear friend Alicia “Red” on her kickball team. With school full time, it just never happened. I miss my beautiful friend so much and finally joined the team. I really love it and am so excited for every game.

My book is finally here!

Garden of Blu – Some Flowers Bloom In the Dark

A memoir about being lost in the dark, living with depression and chronic illness while discovering self worth.

Purchase my book here: link

Be sure to leave a review to help others to discover Garden of Blu.

I am beyond grateful to be back in the lab! I have been struggling with depression and being in the lab and school has kept my mind in a better place. I am getting close to finishing my Bachelors in Biomedical Science!

Garbage was amazing and kind enough to read ny Instagram message and dedicated a song to Alicia! We all missed her so much, but this was a sweet surprise.

Joy and went on a trip to Arizona and it was breathtaking. I will create a blog post about the trip soon!

I am all about being patient with myself lately. Self-care and forgiveness have been my priority during this bout of depression. I have slowed down and I’m just crossing things off my list, one at a time.

37!

37 years

Every year feels like pure luck to have. I am grateful for 37 years of life, and hopefully many more. I am grateful for my amazing husband and kids, new friends and old, family and my fuzzy pup.

On my birthday, I reflect the past 365 days and dream up the new year ahead of me. My goals:

I want to be softer, like the velvety petals of a rose. Not to the the touch, but in my heart. I want my heart to be lighter and more understanding that not everything is personal. Others behave certain ways because of their own traumas and unhealed entities that have nothing to do with me. I want to softly (yet strongly) move through storms, instead of allowing others to wilt me. Let the harsh storms allow rebirth.

I am strong like the stem and can stand on my own. I want to surround myself with those who can do the same. I want to wear the occasional thorn, protecting myself from those who greedily take. I used to give all of myself, then I’d be left with nothing. Now, I will choose to only please others if it pleases me. I am not a doormat, a coattail, or a fool: I am a fucking rose.

I will water my soil more, nurturing myself the way I would nurture others. Many of us wait for another to be our sun, but we are our own light. Lastly, I will always continue to grow. Throughout the next few seasons, I may fall, crumble, or hide… but I will always bloom again.

Tomorrow is a full moon and a blue moon (sturgeon moon). Full moons are a time to release, forgive, and let go—allowing space for new beginnings, rebirth, and growth. Allow your “once in a blue moon” to be now.

Cheers, from my tea cup to yours.

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