Health, Unveiling Invisible Illnesses

Moving Forward in 2019

2018 was a good year, despite having cancer, multiple surgeries and a few ups and downs. 2017 was awful and scary. My heart was at it’s worst. My POTS flare was the worst I ever had in my life. No doctors were on my side. I was having potentially fatal heart arrhythmias and I am shocked that I am here to tell about it. I am forever grateful for my pacemaker and supportive family.

2018 was the year I got my health under control. I learned my body and what I can handle. I take care of myself and minimize toxins in my life. I advocate for myself and after 33 years I found out what was wrong with me and that it isn’t normal to feel pain every day, among a million other things. Despite no cure, simply having an answer has made my life better by educating myself, spreading awareness for others and learning about what is best for my health, as opposed to being in the dark.

2019 is here and we all say that each new rotation around the sun will be the best ever, but I have learned that it is okay to feel. It is not okay to plaster fake positivity over emotions. I set goals daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and will continue to work on every aspect of my life whether it is day 1 or day 365.

Sometimes I have bad days and I hate that it affects others, especially those who love and care about me. I am not going to share just my perfect moments and give people Sunday’s best version of myself. I am human. I know I am not easy to deal with sometimes. I am sorry, but this is me. I’m working on it.

This year, for me, is about acceptance and moving forward. I have been grieving the reality of my health and the limitations and life changes that come with it. I was angry. I was in denial. It is important to focus on the good things in life but that doesn’t mean you need to pretend that tough times exist…. just don’t dwell there. I accept the cards I am dealt. I refuse to be in denial, ashamed or to hide, and will learn how to cope better and continue to improve the things that I can control.

I hope you all are inspired by a fresh start but don’t forget that you can start fresh anytime. Each day is a new story to write. We are in control of how we navigate through our story and how we handle the things life throws at us. Pick your own adventure and make it a good one.

Body and Beauty, Health, Unveiling Invisible Illnesses

Yoga Newbie

One of my many goals for the new year is to stretch more. I am in severe pain every single day and last year I did absolutely ZERO exercising. It is a challenge to do any workouts due to my heart condition but I hate the idea of getting weak. One of my amazing Wildling Apothecary homes is The Yogi Perogi in Melbourne, Florida. I thought, what a perfect way to support them too, while working on my goal to stretch and hopefully reduce the pain in my body.

As a yoga newbie, I felt that Amy Ustjanowski lead the class so seamlessly. I started with the Vinyasa Flow, which she recommended. I did avoid a pose or two since my pacemaker is in an odd location and causes pain still. There was no judgement and no feeling awkward with my lack of experience and knowledge. I felt fairly out of shape but any time I started to worry, she somehow was a step ahead of me telling us not to. I realized that yoga is also something that will strengthen your body but most importantly, remind you to breathe. As silly as it sounds, I never remember to breathe.

I definitely enjoyed the class and plan to try many more. Koah does a Rock n Flow class on Saturdays with live music! I think it is always very important to challenge yourself and to try something new. I also want to be more aware of breathing… inhaling and exhaling. Though it is autonomic and something that you just do, I realized that I don’t do it right. Letting go of the stress in your body and taking the time to rejuvenate is something that has never been a priority until now.