Moving Forward in 2019

Reflections and Moving Forward

2018 was a good year, despite facing cancer, multiple surgeries, and the ups and downs that came with it. 2017, however, was a different story—it was terrifying and challenging. My heart was at its worst, and my POTS flare-up was the most severe I’d ever experienced. No doctor seemed to be on my side, and I was dealing with potentially fatal heart arrhythmias. Looking back, I am still in disbelief that I’m here to tell my story. I’m forever grateful for my pacemaker and the unwavering support of my family.

In 2018, I took control of my health. I learned my body’s limits and started to understand what I could handle. I focused on self-care and minimized toxins in my life. I advocated for myself, and after 33 years, I finally discovered what was wrong with me. I realized it wasn’t normal to live in constant pain, along with a myriad of other symptoms. Although there is no cure, simply having answers has brought me peace. Educating myself, raising awareness for others, and learning what’s best for my health has made all the difference, compared to being in the dark for so long.

Now, 2019 is here. We often tell ourselves that each new year will be our best yet, but I’ve come to realize that it’s okay to feel. It’s not healthy to mask your emotions with forced positivity. I set goals daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, and I will continue to work on every aspect of my life—whether it’s day 1 or day 365.

There are days when I feel down, and I hate that it affects those around me, especially the people who love and care about me. I won’t just share my perfect moments and present a polished version of myself. I’m human. I know I’m not always easy to deal with, and I’m sorry for that, but this is who I am, and I’m working on it.

For me, this year is about acceptance and moving forward. I’ve spent time grieving the reality of my health and the changes it has brought. I was angry, I was in denial, and I didn’t want to face the truth. But it’s important to focus on the good, even while acknowledging the tough times. I don’t have to pretend they don’t exist, but I choose not to dwell there. I accept the cards I’ve been dealt. I refuse to hide, be ashamed, or stay in denial. Instead, I’m learning to cope better and to focus on the things I can control.

I hope you’re all inspired by the idea of a fresh start, but remember, you can start fresh at any time. Each new day is a new chapter in your story. We’re in control of how we navigate our lives and how we handle the challenges that come our way. So choose your own adventure and make it a good one.