I remember the days when I was a social butterfly—building my empire, helping the community, and knowing everyone. I thought I had so many friends. It wasn’t until my health hit rock bottom that I realized the truth: I only had a handful of real friends. The ones who showed up when I had open heart surgery. The ones who came by when I got my pacemaker. The ones who checked in on me, and the ones who stood by me during the lowest points.
Someone who is healthy once told me that people get sick because they want attention. That could not be further from the truth. When you’re sick, you don’t get attention—you get dropped and forgotten. You become a has-been. Most of your friends were just drinking buddies or casual acquaintances, and once you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind. People move on and find a replacement.
I had a career that was flourishing. I was traveling several times a year, all expenses paid. I was challenged, inspired, thriving, and growing. But no matter how high I climbed, my health always caught up with me. It always knocked me back down.
Usually, I quietly picked myself back up. I kept most of my health struggles to myself, except for the major things that were hard to hide. I masked my symptoms with caffeine, marijuana, and alcohol. Depression was something I hid deep inside. I never slept, and I resented my body.
This time, I didn’t climb back up. I accepted it. I embraced it. I shared my story and my truth so that others didn’t feel the need to suffer silently like I did. My career fell apart.
Tyler Durden: It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. -Fight Club
On the plus side, when my health deteriorated, I realized who was important. I realized I wasted precious time with the wrong people when I had amazing friends that were there all along. It reminded me about quality over quantity.
I’ve learned to shift my perspective. I may not be the career-driven woman I once was, but my passion has never wavered. I remind myself how grateful I am to live a genuine life now—free of toxic friendships, false relationships, and people with hidden agendas. My life may be a challenge, but it’s real, and so are my relationships.
When you find yourself in this position, it’s a chance to reinvent yourself. You reevaluate everything, cut out the toxins, and ask yourself: What do I truly want? How can I touch lives and make a difference?
I may be grieving who I once was—the fair-weather friends and my fast-paced career. But I’m also excited to see how my new journey unfolds and where life will take me. I realize my purpose needed to be more meaningful. I was lost in the fun, the excitement, and the haze of fake friends, unable to see what I was truly meant to do. Now I know: I was meant to change the world, to help others, and to make a difference—no matter how small. Even if my role is simply to pave the way.
This is all so relatable for me. I had the same experience with my friendships and my career when I became too ill to deny it anymore. Thank you for this post.