Throughout my life, I have struggled with depression. Actually, that’s an understatement—I have battled deeply with depression for as long as I can remember. I never felt like I was enough, never felt worthy. Born with serious health issues and minimal care due to negligent doctors and lack of insurance, I never got the support I needed. I chose the wrong people to form relationships with because I didn’t know my worth, and my standards were nonexistent. I sabotaged relationships because I convinced myself I was doing them a favor. I let friends take advantage of me simply because I was happy to have friends. There were times when I had to scrape together meals from expired food in the pantry, and I became an expert at making do with what little was left. I cursed the universe, believing life was unfair. The trauma from my childhood was something I carried with me, bottled up, and unaddressed.
But one day, something shifted. I made the conscious decision to wake up and appreciate the good in my life instead of numbing the pain and feeling like a failure. I cut out toxic people and raised my standards for the relationships I allowed into my life. I stopped letting negativity consume me and started choosing positivity. I took control of my health, became my own advocate, and educated myself. I stopped eating poorly, corrected my imbalances and deficiencies, and began taking care of my body. (A huge part of my healing came from addressing my MTHFR mutation, which played a significant role in my depression).
Now, my heart is full of peace. I no longer feel worthless. I know I am a good mother, and anyone who tries to make me feel otherwise will fail miserably. I am strong, determined, and passionate. I am deeply grateful that I never gave up, even when I came close many times. I’m thankful that I pulled myself out of the dark, learned to love myself, and embraced the beautiful life I have now.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I felt compelled to share. Never give up. You never know what’s waiting for you around the corner. You are worth the love you give to others, and everything is going to be okay.
