mental health

How to Work Through a Problem

Life can be unpredictable, chaotic, stressful, out of balance and just straight up crazy. It is vital to our mental health to be able to manage the stress in our lives in a healthy manner. Unfortunately, we are not born with the knowledge of balancing mental health and the inevitable stressors that life throws our way. We surely did not learn this in home economics class either. We are thrown to the wolves and some of us figure it out, while others are hiding in their bathroom with chocolate and tears.

People naturally gravitate towards a way of relief from the lemonade raining in our lives. For some, that relief is alcohol, drugs, shopping, gym, sex, and so on. Addictions come in many forms and with many masks. You may not even realize that you have your own demons because it is packaged neatly in a decorative glass that says “Mommy’s Sippy Cup.” Your addictions may be something with healthy attributes, like going to the gym. Only, you work out more than you do anything else and you have developed an obsession with your workout routine, schedule, nutrition and progress to an unhealthy level. Or, maybe you don’t self-medicate but you isolate yourself from your friends, you stop doing the things you enjoyed once, and maybe you started having anxiety attacks.

In a nutshell, stress makes us do weird things. It makes us sick, or sicker. It steals the joy out of life when it is not under control. It tears relationships apart. It throws hurdles in our way and derails our plans. It imprisons us in a haze of distractions while our problems pile up.

In my Introduction to Healthcare class, our first assignment involved the problem-solving process. I am sharing what I learned so that you can apply this five-step process to areas in your life that may benefit from finding a solution.

 

Problem:

 What is your problem? Maybe it is something huge and overwhelming or it could be something small and petty that could get swept under the rug. Regardless of the size, every issue should be dealt with because they add up and they grow. They fill up your cup and overflow. The next thing you know, you are drowning.

Tip: Keep a small notebook. Create lists of goals, tasks, issues, solutions, progress, failures, etc.

Fact: It is okay to fail. Think of it like you just took one for the team and learned something from it; now you can share your failure and knowledge with others so that they can grow from it like you did. Failure is awesome. It builds character and wisdom. It’s a challenge and it comes with lessons and stories. It is far from boring and it fuels fire and births bravery… if you allow it. Perspective is everything. Many successful people would not be where they are today without the failures that happened throughout their journey.

Step One – Identify the Problem

Observe the full picture. What is the root of the issue? What is the cause? Are there other factors involved? Look beyond the obvious.

 Example: I hate my job and it makes me miserable.

Step Two – Gather Information

Decisions influenced by opinions and emotions may result in poor outcomes. What are the possible solutions and outcomes? What are the facts? What do you feel? What do you want? What or who would be a reliable source of information in reviewing options? What could be the consequences or risks? Ask yourself some questions. Write it down if you need to.

Example: Why do I hate my job? Is it the environment, coworkers, boss, career field or the hours? What is causing me to be unhappy at my place of work?

Step Three – Create Alternatives

We are finding solutions to our problem, not problems with our solutions. Create a list of options, both positive and negative.

Example: Ask for a raise. Go back to college. Update your resume and actively search your job field for opportunities. Find out if you can move to a different position; perhaps you don’t feel challenged or fulfilled in your current position. Do some soul-searching: are you depressed and your job is affected by your mood instead of the other way around? Try changing up your environment by promoting weekly group challenges to boost morale, or doing squats before lunch while answering phone calls, or getting to know coworkers better by planning a night out.

Step Four _ Choose an Alternative and Take Action

This is an important step. What is the point of steps 1-3 if we aren’t going to actually get our hands dirty and make a real effort to resolve this issue? If some of your alternatives are extreme or risky, try the other options first if you want to be on the side of caution. Multi-tasking solutions is also a possibility since some alternatives may take more time than others. Some alternatives may be a quick fix while you work on another alternative that may be more of a long-term solution.

Example: “I really want to go back to college and change careers but it would be a huge process, expensive, a lot of work and a big challenge. I am going to try to make friends with my coworkers and build those relationships and then ask my boss for new responsibilities and a raise.” This is a great start, but keep in mind those were problems for the first solution. Going back to college may be a big challenge but it could be worth it and it could be the best solution. Don’t create problems to scare off a possible solution. However, working with the other alternatives first is a great idea while you investigate the other options.

Step Five – Evaluate and Revise as Needed

Now it is time to review your results. What has been effective or ineffective? At this point, you can adjust your alternatives or fine-tune them. Revise your plan until you sort out the best solution.

Example: You decided you are just not passionate about your job and your boss can’t afford to promote you. You decide to go back to school but this will be a process, so you enroll in online classes. To make the long-term process more enjoyable, you build relationships with your coworkers and convinced your boss to allow casual Friday pizza day to boost morale. You also started listening to podcasts while you work and got a cat to help improve your mood when you go home.

 

*Hopefully this outline has helped or inspired you to work through stressful situations or problematic times in your life. If you still find that you can’t manage stress, look into getting professional help like seeing a therapist. There may also be local resources in your area to help get through certain issues. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. 

Health, Unveiling Invisible Illnesses

Top Ways to Get Out of a Funk

Everyone from time to time gets in a funk. Personally, I used to often. Here are some tips to stay positive and to keep your mind happy:

1) Supplement or Go Herbal

Going herbal is a healthier option for your mind and body. Besides CBD, Valerian Root is my favorite. It helps with insomnia and anxiety. I like to think of it as a natural version if Valium. St. John’s Wort is a natural antidepressant and for mood disorders. Chamomile and Kava Kava are very calming and help take the edge off. You can take these in herbal teas or capsules. I get mine from Mrs. Mango’s. If you are in a legal state, look into medical marijuana.

CBD oil has many benefits. It is legal as long as it doesn’t contain more than 0.3% THC. Anxiety and sleep disorders can be treated with CBD. It also helps with pain, inflammation, headaches, IBS and several other ailments.

*I started selling CBD oil over a year ago since I have a retail license. If you have any questions or want to purchase a bottle, email me at mistibludream@gmail.com

Vitamin deficiencies can also cause depression or anxiety. Vitamin D deficiencies cause depression, hair loss, bone pain and can contribute to cancer. Vitamin B deficiencies can cause anxiety, headaches, tingling sensations and fatigue. Most doctors don’t test for these unless you specifically request it. Doctors tend to prescribe rather than find the cause.

The beauty of herbs and supplements is that they are all natural and they are not addictive. Having a healthy diet without preservatives, dyes, and artificial anything is also crucial to your health as a whole. Make sure you stay hydrated and take care of your body and it will also help with your mental health.

One of the best things I have ever done for my depression, which changed my life, was when I started taking l-methylfolate after discovering I had the MTHFR mutation.

If you can’t get a doctor to test you, you can actually get the test (along with several others) with 23andMe

2) Get a Pet

Many studies have shown that getting a pet can reduce stress in your life. Think about service dogs for PTSD patients or bringing a puppy into a nursing home or hospital, for example. They put a smile on everyone’s face and provide a sense of calm.  It is a different kind of love and without complications. It gives you a sense of responsibility. Plus, who does not want a cuddle buddy?

Web MD Pets and Depression


3) Words of Affirmation

I regularly need friendly reminders to stay positive and motivated. When I lack the drive or feel lost, I will browse words of affirmations and quotes until I feel motivated again.

Go to google images and type “positive quotes” and click the search button and browse away! I also search Buddhist quotes or Carl Jung, Walt Disney and Ralph Waldo Emerson.

4) Get a Hobby


There is no such thing as too many hobbies. For some, art can be very therapeutic. For others, going to the gym, hiking or playing soccer and being physically active are helpful for their mental health. Everyone knows that exercise releases endorphins. You can still do physical activity even if you are not a very active person. There are many ways to exercise even just sitting in a chair or using a pool to relieve joint pain.

Having a hobby is something to look forward to. Like learning to play guitar, you have goals: Learn chords, learn a song, start a band! Find a passion and a productive outlet.

5) Volunteer

The world always needs volunteers. The options are endless in your community and it feels great to help others and give back. It also humbles you and can make you grateful for what you do have.

Personally, I volunteer at Brevard Humane Society and I walk dogs and pet cats. It is amazing. I leave feeling renewed.

6) Hygiene


When you are in a funk, you are probably in bed, have not brushed your hair and feel like a mess. Get your ass in the shower and wash your hair. Blast some upbeat music, get dressed, brush your teeth and put on a nice outfit. Then, go outside and see the sunshine. It is the best way to start your day. There is something about feeling fresh and looking good that can lift your spirit.

You don’t even have to go anywhere. Sometimes, just freshening up with change your mood. Try opening the blinds or curtains at least.

If you still aren’t feeling it then get a hair cut. Changing you hair up boosts your self esteem and for some, it can be therapeutic.

“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life” – Coco Chanel

  • If you still can’t get out of your funk, talk to a friend. You can also check your local resources online and find out about counseling or therapy. Many local colleges offer free services.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Call 1-800-273-8255
Health

America Hates Me

Soon, the president of the Divided States of America will be cutting almost a trillion dollars for Medicaid cuts. As I often hear about the complaint for our tax dollars being spent on helping people like me, I never hear any disgruntled comments about the rest of our federal tax spending. We are just shuffling money from one area to another, from healthcare to Military and Defense. And state taxes? How dare we pay for those roads that we never drive on or the schools that our children don’t go to? America is not free, is it? 


Guys, only 28% of our taxes go towards healthcare. No one bitches about where the other 62% goes. Why is that? Do we need to educate ourselves more?


We are very privileged and I am grateful that I have the opportunity to bitch about getting the wrong Starbucks order, don’t get me wrong. I know it could be worse. However, I know it could be better. 


Almost 60 countries Have Universal Healthcare and some have mandated this since the early 1900s. Virtually all of Europe, included. The United States refuses to get on board. We can’t get it right in 4-8 years. It takes time… flipping from red to blue, hot to cold every decade is a disaster when we can look at several dozens other countries that have been doing it for decades. And no, don’t tell me I need to leave my country. My point is that there are answers out there but we have no humility and are drowning in pride and so divided that we would rather turn one half of our own country into a third world status than to pay a couple bucks a week in taxes for healthcare. 

Oh, but we will gladly pay it for military. Just not for the environment though. Seriously, all this is, is taking a budget and moving it somewhere else and that is screwing over your neighbor. New York was known as the melting pot. Now we just want corn dogs and apple pie.


Here in America, we feel that we work hard and must earn our right to be medically treated, granted we have a trust fund and come from wealth or were gifted with healthy DNA. Well, guess what? I work my ass off. I have never only had just one job. I do not come from a wealthy family and I was born with a rare disease. I have even gone to work in severe debilitating pain or irregular heart rhythms and just smiled and pulled through because I have a family to feed and a roof to keep over our heads. I have gone to work instead of the ER because I needed the money. I sometimes would spend days recovering from this… Shutting down my phone and crawling into bed, ordering pizza for the kids and hoping that I wake up the next day. Everytime I would get ahead I would get knocked back down and have to start over, scraping by. 

If I had my health, I would be rich from how damn hard I work and my infinite ambition. I don’t qualify for health insurance and I usually don’t qualify for Medicaid. Seldomly I get access to Medicaid and get the luxury of medical coverage for about 6 months but it is never enough time. 

I am what America hates. Your tax dollars paid for my open heart surgery. I digust you. This year, you win. Your votes will take away my coverage. And when that happens, I hope that you think about my children and the mother that you will take away from them so that you can afford a sweet new car with heated leather seats and Bluetooth and more military whatever. 


I have had some very close calls earlier this year and was often dismissed because I looked healthy. I have spent 32 years of my life looking for answers on my own while being medically neglected, year after year. Even recently, I had my Tilt Table Test and wore my usual light makeup and rosy blush. It is my daily routine. If I don’t cover my fatigued eyes and pale skin then I will be asked if I am sick or tired all day long. The nurse said I looked great and that likely this test would be a breeze for me. “She still has color,” he said seconds before my blood pressure bottomed out and my heart rate plummeted and I felt nauseous and horrible, to say the least. Maybe it’s Maybelline, because suddenly I was head down and being pumped with fluids. Shorty after, I went into hypoperfusion. I was stabilized quickly but despite how horrible I felt, I was relieved to have it all on paper and proof! Each and every ER visit, ambulance ride and hospital stay, dozens in The beginning of the year, my symptoms were dismissed as anxiety and I was prescribed Xanax and Valium and sent home to die because our healthcare is capitalism at it’s finest. It is corupt and unfair because we built it this way and refuse to do anything about it. We are blind. Wake up! For most, they are not poor enough for assisted coverage but not comfortable enough to swing the extra bill for insurance on their own. It is a lose-lose situation. Maybe heart attack statistics would go down if we weren’t stressing about how to afford a doctors visit! 

Despite my 2011 open heart surgery scar and four cardiac ablations, I still was not taken seriously. Hypoperfusion, or Circulatory Shock,  was diagnosed by my neurologist after my clear brain MRI and EEG of my brain waves rules out seizures and any neurological disorders, as well as my recent positive Tilt Table Test, pointing back to cardiac. I went through so many years of tests and no answers but refused to believe that this was anxiety. I was the happiest I had ever been. Finally some progress but time is running out until coverage will end. Life feels like quicksand. 




At one point, I was diagnosed with Acid Reflux, which I do not have and was given medication for that. I was diagnosed with Anxiety and Panic Disorder and given drugs for that. I do not have anxiety. I refuse to take those drugs. Before ruling out seizures, I had debilitating migraines with auras and was given seizure medication. Turns out that all I had to do was cut out preservatives and dairy and my migraines went away. I can’t help but wonder how many people are sent home drugged up to die with a misdiagnosis. How many “young and healthy” looking women were sent home with a new drug dependency while they really just had a deficiency that could have been managed? 



I have children, a business or two, a fiancé and I work very hard every chance I get, when my body allows it. Just because I look fine, does not mean that I don’t feel like shit and have chronic debilitating symptoms. I would be devastated to give up this fight and be home in bed all day, every day. Sometimes I feel like I should be but I have some much to live for and want to see as much of the world as possible,  even if each step hurts and I have to stop often. I will get back up and keep trekking. I am not giving up. 


Fortunately, my patience fizzled and I became an advocate for myself and finally made progress in a diagnosis to get proper management and treatment. My next step is a pacemaker on June 8th but there still needs to be an answer as to what the underlying issue could be. Currently, I am waiting on results for Elhers Danlos Syndrome and Marfan. I recently requested ANA blood work and tested positive, meaning I have one of 120 autoimmune diseases. 


My goal is to help raise awareness to doctors and medical staff about rare diseases and that when you hear hooves, sometimes it could be a zebra. I want to inspire others to get healthy and educate themselves on nutrition and what our bodies need to thrive and learn how to not walk away from doctors without answers. 


I hope that I can still fight this battle or open someone’s eyes to how wrong this government is. I just want to live. I am not ready to go. Please consider people like me before you strip what is left of our medical coverage. Please think abouty soon to be husband and my three children before you ban me from healthcare equality. I am never going to give up but I may die trying. 

If you still feel like reading, I urge you to read Marie Claire’s publication on women’s healthcare.