Health, Unveiling Invisible Illnesses

Moving Forward in 2019

2018 was a good year, despite having cancer, multiple surgeries and a few ups and downs. 2017 was awful and scary. My heart was at it’s worst. My POTS flare was the worst I ever had in my life. No doctors were on my side. I was having potentially fatal heart arrhythmias and I am shocked that I am here to tell about it. I am forever grateful for my pacemaker and supportive family.

2018 was the year I got my health under control. I learned my body and what I can handle. I take care of myself and minimize toxins in my life. I advocate for myself and after 33 years I found out what was wrong with me and that it isn’t normal to feel pain every day, among a million other things. Despite no cure, simply having an answer has made my life better by educating myself, spreading awareness for others and learning about what is best for my health, as opposed to being in the dark.

2019 is here and we all say that each new rotation around the sun will be the best ever, but I have learned that it is okay to feel. It is not okay to plaster fake positivity over emotions. I set goals daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and will continue to work on every aspect of my life whether it is day 1 or day 365.

Sometimes I have bad days and I hate that it affects others, especially those who love and care about me. I am not going to share just my perfect moments and give people Sunday’s best version of myself. I am human. I know I am not easy to deal with sometimes. I am sorry, but this is me. I’m working on it.

This year, for me, is about acceptance and moving forward. I have been grieving the reality of my health and the limitations and life changes that come with it. I was angry. I was in denial. It is important to focus on the good things in life but that doesn’t mean you need to pretend that tough times exist…. just don’t dwell there. I accept the cards I am dealt. I refuse to be in denial, ashamed or to hide, and will learn how to cope better and continue to improve the things that I can control.

I hope you all are inspired by a fresh start but don’t forget that you can start fresh anytime. Each day is a new story to write. We are in control of how we navigate through our story and how we handle the things life throws at us. Pick your own adventure and make it a good one.

Health

Detoxing Juice

Celery Juice

Did you know we all have gut rot? Gut rot is rotting food particles that have been rotting in your intestines for YEARS. Celery juice helps to clear that out and to increase and strengthen your bile, which breaks down fats and kills pathogens. This juice also supports and heals your central nervous system by clearing out toxins. This is also great for anyone who has Epstein Barr or Streptococcus, by cleaning the neurotoxins that are inflamed. If you have MTHFR like me, you have a hard time detoxing your body; celery juice is a great option.

Drinking celery juice on an empty stomach, first thing in the morning is a great routine to add for the start of your day.

Cheers to self love and healing your body for the New Year!

Unveiling Invisible Illnesses

Unveiling Invisible Illnesses Documentary

Unveiling Invisible Illnesses – Documentary

First interview down!

I am looking for more volunteers to share their story on struggles with invisible illnesses, misdiagnosis, medical negligence, rare diseases or anyone in the medical field or a loved one who wants to share their side.

mistibludream@gmail.com

@mistibluday

Health, mental health

What Are You Thankful For?

Throughout my life, I have struggled with depression. Actually, I am lying. I am underplaying it; I have struggled deeply my entire life with depression. I never felt like I was enough. I never felt worthy. I was born with serious health issues and minimal care due to negligent doctors and lack of insurance. I chose the wrong people to enter relationships with because I had no self worth so my standards were nonexistent. I sabotaged relationships as well because I felt like I was doing them a favor. I let friends take advantage of me because I was happy just to have friends. Twice, I had to get expired food out of a pantry and I mastered making meals out of what was left in the cupboard. I cursed the universe because life was not fair. I have bottled childhood trauma up and carried it with me throughout my life.

I am grateful that one day I decided to wake up and appreciate what was good in my life instead of numbing my pain and feeling like a failure. I cut out toxic people in my life and raised my standards on what I expected out of a relationship. I stopped letting negativity consume me and tried being positive for once. I took my health into my own hands and advocated for myself and educated myself. I stopped eating like shit and corrected imbalances and deficiencies and taking care of myself and my body. (Also, huge props to correcting my MTHFR mutation which really was a significant part of depression for me).

I am now in the most loving, abundant and stable relationship I have ever been in and my heart is full of love and happiness. I don’t feel worthless and I know I am a good mother and if anyone tries to change how I feel about myself, they will fail miserably. I am strong, determined and passionate. I am thankful that I never gave up. I almost did, many times. I am grateful that I pulled myself out of the dark and loved myself. I never would have known this beautiful life I have now. I don’t know who needed to read this but I felt a strong urge to share this. Never give up! You never know what is around the corner for you. You are worth the love you give everyone else and everything is going to be okay.

Health

Healing Sprinkles

Food is medicine! We are destined to age, but why not do it well? This blend of herbs and spices have been around for a long time. The selected blend has many anti-cancer, anti-inflammatory and anti-diabetic properties that also reduce risks for heart disease and brain diseases. Antioxidants, fiber, minerals and vitamins also encompassed in this healing mix.

Sprinkle it on your cereal, oatmeal, toast, or mix it into your smoothie blend. Add it to your desserts, muffins, brownies and baked goods. Top in on sweet potatoes, coffee or fresh fruit. This is an easy way to maximize your health and get natural plant-based benefits.

Shop

Carob

  • Rich in calcium
  • High in fiber and protein
  • Diarrhea relief
  • Antioxidants
  • Caffeine free
  • Tastes like chocolate
  • Excellent source of vitamins and minerals

Maca

  • Increases stamina
  • Balances deficiencies
  • Supports fertility
  • Balance hormones for both men and women
  • Immune support and circulation
  • 19 essential amino acids
  • Rich in vitamins and minerals
  • Alleviates Chronic Fatigue
  • Reduces signs of aging
  • Enhances memory

Cinnamon

  • Loaded with antioxidants
  • Anti-inflammatory properties
  • Reduces risk of heart disease
  • Great for diabetics
  • Reduces high cholesterol, lowers lipids
  • Helps metabolism
  • Protects neurons and brain health
  • Anti-microbial and anti-cancer

Turmeric

  • Antioxidants and anti-inflammatory
  • Used in medicine for thousands of years
  • Improves brain function and reduces risk of brain degenerative diseases
  • Lowers risk of heart disease
  • Can help prevent cancer
  • Helps with arthritis and pain
  • Helps with depression
  • Anti-aging

Ashwagandha Root

  • Ancient medicinal herb
  • Anti-cancer properties
  • Reduces cortisol level
  • Reduce stress, depression and anxiety
  • Improve muscle mass and strength
  • May reduce inflammation and lower cholesterol

Lemon Balm

  • Eases stress and anxiety
  • Great for heartburn and indigestion, cold sores, insomnia and high cholesterol
  • Excellent use for brain health
  • Calming

Nutmeg

  • Relieves pain
  • Soothes indigestion
  • Improve skin quality
  • Reduce insomnia
  • Support immune health
  • Improve cognitive function
  • Improves circulation

Ginger

  • Anti-inflammatory
  • Anti-nausea
  • Antioxidants
  • Reduces muscle pain and soreness
  • Helps with joint health
  • Reduce heart disease
  • Helps with indigestion
  • Reduce menstrual pain
  • Lower cholesterol
  • Anti-cancer properties
  • Improves brain function

*Please consult with your doctor before adding spices into your diet if you are on certain medications

Health, Healthy Food, Sweet Tooth

Sugar – The Silent Killer and a Low Glycemic List of Foods Best For You

Our blood sugar or glucose levels should be in the 74-100 range. Glucose enters the bloodstream then to your cells. Our pancreas produces a hormone called insulin, which regulates the metabolism of carbohydrates, fats, and protein. Chronic high glucose levels will create issues with your insulin levels.

Having high levels of blood sugar on a constant basis can damage your blood vessels, leading to atherosclerosis (the hardening of your blood vessels). In time, this can create the perfect environment for heart disease due to the damage of long term elevated glucose. Sugar can increase the risk of stroke or heart attacks due to ischemia, or lack of blood flow to an organ, just as bad as cholesterol and high blood pressure. Besides heart disease and stroke, the narrowing or hardening of blood vessels can also compromise other organs and cause issues such as kidney disease, erectile dysfunction, vision issues, poor circulation, nerve damage, slow wound healing, and a weakened immune system.

You can run around the gym and count calories all day, but what you put into your body DOES matter. Justifying your workout so that you can eat processed foods with high sugar content or artificial ingredients will not work long term. You may feel fine now and slim down but as you age, these issues will catch up to you.

Foods to avoid:

  • White potatoes
  • White rice
  • White bread
  • Sugar
  • Sports and energy drinks
  • Soda
  • Yogurt with sugar*
  • BBQ sauce*
  • Ketchup*
  • Marinara sauce*
  • Granola*
  • Flavored coffees
  • Sweet tea
  • Protein bars and cereal bars*
  • Canned fruit
  • Bottled or premade smoothies
  • Breakfast cereals*
  • Cocktail mixers

*Check the labels! These can still be good as long as they do not have high sugar content.

The best option, low glycemic:

  • Green vegetables
  • Sugar-free yogurt
  • Raw carrots
  • Berries
  • Kidney beans
  • Chickpea
  • Lentils
  • Nuts
  • Sweet potato
  • Peas
  • Quinoa
  • Watermelon
  • Artichokes
  • Grapefruit
  • Peaches
  • Oranges
  • Grapes
  • Plums
  • Apples
  • Squash
  • Broccoli
  • Tomatoes
  • Corn tortillas

Maple syrup and local honey are great natural sweeteners and substitutes for sugar. Artificial sweeteners and even many natural sweeteners like Stevia are still very processed to the point of losing all natural value. Remember to read the labels and sugar content. We sometimes see products that are marketed as healthy as assume they are okay but are often loaded with sugar.

Every day is a new day. Every hour is a new chance to start over. Many of us mess up and fall off the track, then stay there. Pick yourself back up, and start over. You are worth it. Your future self will thank you.

We are creatures of habit and you will change your habits and lifestyle if you stick to it. Prevent disease and future health issues by eating clean and keeping your body in balance.

Health, mental health, Unveiling Invisible Illnesses

The Invisible Battle of Chronic Illness

Ehlers Danlos Syndrome is an umbrella of many ailments that fall beneath it. This genetic disorder manifests in many ways; various joints and organs are affected and there is a large range of severity on each spectrum. None of us EDSers are the same. We call ourselves zebras because most doctors think of horses when they hear hooves, but rarely it can be a zebra. We are the zebras in the medical world. There is no cure for EDS but each symptom can be managed separately. It is tricky because we sometimes have several specialists to manage each symptom, or comorbidity, which can resemble having a full time job. Juggling this health conditions not only takes a toll on our energy but it also takes up most of our time. 
On a regular basis, I see several specialists: cardiologist, electrophysiologist, pulmonologist, cardiothoracic surgeon, rheumatologist, neurologist, otolaryngologist (ENT), endocrinologist, gynecologist, gastroenterologist, and of course my general physician. I also sometimes see a chiropractor for traction and the use of some machines to help build strength in my lower back. I don’t have access, but need to see a geneticist, nephrologist, ophthalmologist and orthopedic specialist. That is about 12-16 specialists every 3-6 months. If I see fourteen doctors four times per year, just as a guess, that is fifty six doctors appointments in a year! I also end up in the ER, on average, about six times per year and usually have one or two hospital admissions… on a good year. This year, I had a few surgeries already and last year I had a pacemaker put in. Last year I probably had close to fifty emergency room visits so we won’t count that year. 
An average day for me is waking up around 2am-4am with lower back pain, thirst and several bathroom breaks. I never truly sleep through the night. I have a dysfunctional nervous system (dysautonomia) and suffer from Neurocardiogenic Syncope, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, sleep apnea and issues with my body temperature, blood pressure, heart rate and more. My pain level has NEVER been under a five on the 1-10 scale. Not even for a moment. I usually have to be out of bed by 7-8am because my body is so sore when lying down for a long time. Even if I am sick, I have to get out of bed or the pain is so severe that I can not breathe. This means that I can not sleep for over six hours without a break, or the pain is unbearable. 
I take most of my medications and supplements in the morning. I usually start my day off with a headache, nausea, low blood pressure and a general feeling of being hungover but without the fun tequila shots. As I make it to midday, my entire body aches. Every cell in my body hurts. I feel so fatigued and exhausted, even if I didn’t do much. My head hurts and if I am around strong perfumes, chemicals or exposed to any chemicals in my food, I will have a runny nose, body aches and migraine with aura (visual disturbances). My lips and left hand go numb, simultaneously, about five times a day. No one knows why. My symptoms often mimic a stroke so I fear that one day if I have a stroke, I wouldn’t know the difference. I have chemical sensitivities that are hard to avoid. Wearing a mask and watching what I eat helps. Usually by 5-6pm, I am ready to collapse. Sometimes I make it through, with a smile on my face, because I try to live my life to the fullest. Despite how I feel, I push it to the limit to be the best mother, wife, friend, student and so on. I refuse to give up no matter how hard it gets.
By evening, I have made it through the day and usually my body temperature is low and I am freezing but somehow feel like I am burning up and running a fever. My temperature usually will read 96-97 degrees. It is incredibly uncomfortable to feel hot and cold at the same time. My chest feels heavy at night and if I lie on my back I start to feel fluid in my lungs. On a tough day, I will breathe so shallow while I fall asleep that I jump up gasping for air, with low oxygen and a racing heart. Other nights, I can’t sleep because memories flash back from the past when I was in the back of an ambulance or in the ER with chaotic arrhythmias. I close my eyes and hope to get to the next morning. It all starts over again in the morning. 
Depression can be a struggle for those who suffer with daily pain or frequent traumatic hospital visits. I recently came up with the term “Post Traumatic Health Disorder.” Depression can also be a factor because we feel like we have lost the person we once were and are prisoners to a body that doesn’t feel like it belongs to us. Our friends drop like flies the more we cancel on them, relationships are strained and many physicians don’t take us seriously because oftentimes these symptoms don’t show anything in blood work and we are passed off as a mental case. Many doctors are not familiar with rare, genetic disorders so they typically label us with anxiety or a catch-all diagnosis and send us on our way. We feel alone and like no one understands. It is scary, disheartening and frustrating. Seeing a therapist is important, as well as finding a support group.
Having an invisible illness is a battle and we all think of ourselves as warriors. We are warriors. We battle and fight every damn day. Tears are shed on the battlefield often and we watch our tribe through ups and downs on our online support groups. We have lost some and watched others give up. We keep fighting and supporting each other and raising awareness while we struggle to make it out of bed.
Always be kind to others, as you have no idea what they are battling under all that makeup and forced smile. And to those who are my fellow warriors, I believe you.
Body and Beauty, Health

Toxic Free and Chemical Free Perfume Oils

Yesterday, I was at the post office shipping an order and the woman in front of me had a powerfully pungent toxic perfume that gave me an instant headache and nausea that lasted for hours. If you don’t care about what your body absorbs then maybe you could be mindful of your friends and family members who hug you and see you at gatherings and are too timid to speak up that your toxic fragrance is making them ill. In the U.S., manufacturers can legally hide hundreds of synthetic chemicals in the one word: fragrance. We live in a toxic world so why not minimize our exposure where we can. Live a healthy life and give the gift of quality air to your loved ones.

Wildling Apothecary

Health, Unveiling Invisible Illnesses

PTHD – Post Traumatic Health Disorder

A feeling grows over you, nuzzling into the pit of your stomach that buzzes out to your limbs. It’s like you are standing at the edge of a cliff but there is no beautiful view, just worry so strong that it consumes you. Your blood feels thick as it boils through your veins, dragging its gloom to the surface of your skin, begging to get out. This is the feeling that takes over your brain, your gut, and your heart. It’s the aftershock of a traumatic event that creeps up on you, tapping you on the shoulder and pouring itself into your bones.

Post-Traumatic Health Disorder is a name I thought of to put a title on a common feeling that many people with health issues can relate to. Health anxiety and depression from chronic illness are frequent concerns for many people.

Common struggles for people with chronic illness:

  • Missing your previous, healthier life and adjusting to a change due to health issues
  • Having to cancel on friends and family often or change plans because of health
  • Feeling secluded and like no one understands you
  • Financial issues due to lack of work or missing work from illness
  • Feeling exhausted and having a hard time keeping up with minor tasks
  • Not talking about how you feel or your feelings because you feel like a burden or too like you are being too negative
  • Insurance issues, scheduling conflicts, and other general concerns

I often wonder why doctors don’t ask their patients how they are coping with their health issues. For some, they hide their anxiety or depression out of fear that their health issues will be dismissed and with anxiety. Why can’t therapy or counseling be offered or suggested after a life-changing surgery or health event?

For me personally, my traumatic health memories sometimes even follow me to bed and enter my dreams. Having a small health scare, like a few palpitations in a row, can trigger PTHD and put a damper on the rest of my day. Like a dark cloud following me around all day, I can’t help but think of moments when my heart almost gave up for good. My lips turned dusky as everything around me faded out. My heart was struggling and chaotic as if each beat could be the last. My limbs lie cold on the ground as I struggle to take tiny drops of air into my lungs. My life did not flash before my eyes but a sinking feeling of worry about my kids growing up without a mother and how could I just meet the love of my life and be taken from this world from my family that I love so much.

It’s not fair.

I am not ready yet.

Please.

Help.

Every palpitation I get is a flashback of these moments. Some days are so beautiful and the sun shines, blanketing everything in gold. The air is perfect and you have everything the be grateful for but still, sometimes those moments tickle your neck because you are so scared to lose everything.

You are not alone.

Finding local or online support groups are helpful for finding answers and a tribe of others who understand what you have gone through or what you may be going through. Seeking therapy is also a beneficial way to learn how to cope and work through stress. You are not alone. Burying your feelings or sweeping them under the rug is not a way to get by. Dealing with your trauma is nothing to be ashamed of or ignore.

Health, Unveiling Invisible Illnesses

Living With Chronic Pain

What does it feels like to live with chronic pain? It’s something that you never really get a break from and you can’t remember not feeling it.

At the end of a long day, it feels like you just did the most intense workout the night before, and climbed 50 flights of stairs while carrying someone up. Then, you had to swim a mile in the ocean and forgot to stretch, and you were forced to sleep on the pavement. For me, this is how my body feels on a daily basis.

Every single fiber of my being aches and it always has. This is my normal and something I have grown to live with. I still go to the grocery store, cook my family dinner, make it to events and juggle school, parenting and work. I used to never talk about this because I never knew it wasn’t normal to feel like your scalp was severely bruised because you wore your hair up or switched parts, or that your legs weren’t supposed to feel like they were run over by a truck after a day of work, or like you drank a bottle of tequila the night before (only you don’t actually drink) and have a massive hangover. I didn’t know it wasn’t normal to feel like your feet have been shattered into a hundred pieces at the end of the day, or wake up each night with your back spasming, and let’s not forget the classic pounding headache and abdominal cramps.

I have been told in previous relationships that I was a hypochondriac, or always complaining, so I trained myself to suck it up. Who wants to complain all day or succumb to a life in bed? I can’t be in bed too long anyway. This is my every single day. This is me. So, when you see someone or meet someone, know that we are all fighting our own battles. Pain is just one small layer of the onion. Things are not always what they seem.

Photo by Amanda Eversz

Location: Rockledge Gardens

Dress by The King’s Daughter Bridal Boutique & Formal Wear